It's not a dead end

There are no final destinations, there is a future.

This morning I've got a call from MDIS.
YEAH BABY I GOT IN IM GONNA BE TAKING PRIVATE DIPLOMA
Im that excited that I literally perked up from my oh-my-so-comfortable bed at 11 in the morning(im a lazy-bum who only wakes up after 12)
Yea private course is freaking expensive considering it pays all at once but if you calculate the 3years in poly plus retaking O lvl, it's gonna be overestimated what I'm paying now so yep, I'm taking the easiest route and shortcut. I have to accept the fact that I cannot get my freaky head into studying, what's more, my course doesn't need subjects *grins big big*

O level.
Although I started studying at the eleventh hour, it was the most hardworking moment I ever had in my seventeen years of my life. I even cried while trying to get all the cliffs, floodplains, ok those geography stuffs into my stupid head. But I guess God did heard me, those topics really showed! I was elated of course but so? Combined Humanities likea useless, I got a pass and also Chinese which I took in 2010 o level, and the rest? FAILED.
But my usual F9 subj, POA, showed up as 7 in my cert, WOAH MAN.
On the day getting back our results, my girls got back theirs first.
They did badly, and I broke down even before getting mine. Why? Use butt also can think that I confirm failed when my friends are on the verge of failing. So, I cried, and cried and my mom suggested me to go home and don't bother taking it anymore. She meant well.
My turn. Of course failed. But there's sort of a relief I don't know why. I kept repeating to my teachers that, well I deserved it, I wasn't that disciplined in school so SERVE ME RIGHT HAHA lol. And I had this curve on my face while my friends all down.

I was really lost. It's like wandering in a forest with no signs and arrows pointing which is the right. Teachers couldn't help either because they are smart, they passed so they don't know where we should go, or rather where we can go. Well after waves and waves, always listen to your parents, they understand you the most and know what you could do even your own self don't know what you're good at. My dad knows it all. He suggested me taking fashion design course in private school because re-taking o level is just a waste of time for me, he knows it, he knows I don't like study and I won't be disciplined to do it, and i'm super lazy so straight taking diploma would be the best choice and fashion design? I could do whatever I like, I don't have to listen to anyone, I am my own boss. Love dad so much, I never knew myself until he described me and it's very true. If not, I was going to take up hospitality course but dad knows I couldn't be tamed.
SO, TO PEOPLE WHO FAILED, don't think its the world end(I actually thought that and wanted to end my life but committing sucide is a crime! It only burden your family.) Ok I sound stupid but if you ever work so hard on something but failed, all motivation lost and it's like there's no reason more for me to live on. BUT I WAS WRONG. There are so many paths lined up, I just have to choose the right one for me. I'm not encouraging all to take private diploma course but to tell you that, you yourself actually know what's the right way to go but you have no guts to walk through it. Hey, just walk the hell over it. There is always paths lined up after each.

I love my family so much. Although they expected my results, but they supported me all the way. They respect my decision. I know I had disappoint them but I will do them proud someday. Just that it's a different way of expressing from other kids.
I feel fortunate and blessed. Maybe too spoilted that I took everything so lightly and reluctantly but this hit really wake the hell outta me.
So, I know this sound outdated, but don't give up. It doesn't matter where you will end up, ITE? Private course? Retaking O? Just go. Don't go poly for the sake of poly and ended up taking the course you don't like. I once thought that "can go poly then ok already", but my dad made me imagined the rest of my life cleaning shit and corspes..god i will die. So, choose what you like not where you like ok.

Anyway, you determined your own life, you don't have to prove others wrong, you do yourself justice and people eventually will be awed by your changes.

Cheers.